The Quiet Strength of Kindness

…and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

It struck me recently that a little bit of kindness goes a long way.

This was confirmed when I was watching the ever wonderful ‘Anne of Green Gables’ with our girls recently. It had been awhile since I last watched it and I was delighted all over again and not a little moved. I couldn’t help exclaiming ‘Poor Anne!’ out loud each time she was hurt or rejected but what particularly stood out to me was Matthew.

He’s a made up character of course but still, his qualities of gentleness and kindness are something to aspire to. At one point he says to his sister, Marilla, in a voice thick with emotion, ‘We ought to show that girl as much kindness as we can.’ He is a shining light to Anne who is an orphan, moved around from place to place, lonely and unwanted until she is mistakenly sent to Matthew and Marilla.

Proverbs 16:24 says ‘Kind words are like honey, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.’ In a world that is increasingly disconnected, despite the ’connectedness’ through the internet and social media, acts and words of kindness can mean so much. Particularly after the year we’ve had, marked by a global pandemic, lockdown and the subsequent fear, anxiety and insecurity, not to mention the loneliness.

During the lockdown my family and I were gathered around the table for breakfast one Saturday morning when the doorbell rang. This was a very rare occurrence at that time since nobody was allowed to visit so as I went to the door I was mentally going over the things it could be, interest piqued.

There was a package sitting on the doorstep, highly unexpected. I was pleasantly surprised though and took it to the table and opened it up. It was a cute little box of assorted tea leaves and as I pulled off the pretty ribbon a card fell out. I read the card and immediately became overwhelmed with emotion, losing my voice and with tears in my eyes. It was from some friends in Sydney who acknowledged the difficulty of what we in Melbourne were living.

They had thought of us, had been moved and had acted on that thought. It meant so much to me and as our children looked at me wonderingly and asked why I was crying, I thought to myself what a treasure kindness is.

When I think of it now, months later, I still have that same feeling of surprise and joy, of amazement and gratitude. That’s one example of a small act of kindness that I received during the difficult months of lockdown but I regularly recall many such acts from throughout my life. From a friend bringing over dinner the night we moved house when I was 41 weeks pregnant (not just dinner but also a very large and delicious chocolate cake!) to my sister in law sending a beautiful bunch of roses the day before my brother’s wedding which I couldn’t attend.

I try to hold these moments in my heart and in my memory and to never forget them. Why? Because they speak to me of God’s love.

Hosea 13:8 speaks of how God will treat the enemies of his children: ‘I will fall upon them like a bear robbed of her cubs, I will tear open their breast and there I will devour them like a lion, as a wild beast would rend them.’
This is how God feels about me, His child, this is how he’ll fight for me.

As a mother of four little ones I strongly relate to this particular example of God’s love, however I also and equally love the images of God as gentle, caressing, thoughtful and quiet, reaching out in little moments to show me that He cares, that He is here, that I am precious and mean everything to Him.

Being kind requires a good listening ear and an observant eye as well as an awareness of the soft voice of the Holy Spirit prompting us to reach out and to act. It’s about cultivating an attitude of thoughtfulness. This may not come easily to everyone but it is something that can be learnt if we put our minds to it and Lord knows, we really need more thoughtfulness in the world!

Sometimes I might have an idea of something to do for someone but instead of leaping immediately into action I’ve learnt to sit with it for awhile, holding it in my mind and heart. If the idea disappears then it wasn’t meant to be but if it becomes more insistent and doesn’t go away then I act on it.

It could be that a particular person has come into my mind and I am prompted to call them or send a message. It could be to send someone a letter in the mail or a card for their birthday. It could be to invite someone over for a walk or a cup of tea. It should always be in a spirit of freedom and good will, without a patronising attitude and not out of a sense of obligation because then it becomes a chore and loses its sweetness.

Doing small acts of kindness doesn’t come naturally to me because I am always aiming so high, looking up ahead to the glorious heights that I forget to walk softly on each small stepping stone at my feet.

Truly, being kind isn’t always easy either, for many reasons but maybe especially when we feel that we have made a big effort to reach out in kindness and that effort was either rejected or unappreciated. The important thing to remember is to do it anyway, love without counting the cost, give without seeking anything in return because that is what we’re all called to.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9
Image from “The Boy, The Mole, The Fox And The Horse” by Charlie Mackesy

~  Sara Moore

Sara is originally from southern NSW but now lives in Melbourne with her husband, Damian and their four children.  Apart from her faith and family, Sara’s great loves are literature, history, art and making her home a beautiful and restful place for her family and friends.